Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion, skills and wisdom. This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication.
We’ve teamed up with Dr. Debra Campbell, as well 15 other world renowned psychologists and therapists, to create a comprehensive course that not only teaches you the skills needed to create a successful and lasting relationship, but the tools to execute it.
You’ll learn the strategies marriage therapist teach their clients, including how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learn healthy and successful communication tools, create a deeper more intimate bond and strengthen your couple “micro-culture” and future together.
In addition to practical wisdom and easy-to-complete exercises, the course includes stress management tools many couples need to get into a fun and intimate mood. The course consists of 18 therapist taught video lessons with slides, transcripts, audio and video downloadable files, 21 workbooks and cheat sheets, over 25 relationship strengthening exercises and 4 mindfulness exercises.
Sure, relationships can be complicated, frustrating and demanding. But did you know that overall, having a strong, committed partnership can actually give our physical and psychological well-being a big boost?
Some of the advantages of being in a happy, healthy relationship are straightforward, such as having someone to talk to and share financial burdens with. Other advantages are more surprising, such as the fact that men in happy, long-term relationships live longer.
Sure — warm and fuzzy feelings are nice, but a strong relationship has these research based benefits:
Being in a happy, committed relationship is linked to less production of cortisol, a stress hormone. This suggests that married or paired people are less responsive to psychological stress, and that the social and emotional support that comes with having a partner can be a great buffer against stress.
Healthy relationships set the perfect tone for an overall healthy lifestyle. If your spouse, friends or other loved ones encourage eating a healthy diet, exercising, not smoking, etc., you’re likely to follow in their footsteps. It’s a lot easier to take on healthy behaviors when you surround yourself with people who are doing the same.
It’s natural for humans to want to feel needed, and as if they’re part of something bigger. Many people strive to feel as if they’re doing something good for someone else, and improving the world in some way. Being in a loving relationship, gives one a sense of well-being and purpose. In fact, it’s possible that having a sense of purpose can actually add years to your life.
A 75-year Harvard grant study into happiness, came to one resounding conclusion: ”good relationships keep us happier.” According to George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who directed the study from 1972 to 2004, there are two pillars of happiness — love and finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away. Making an effort to strengthen your relationship and cultivate more love could just be the secret to increasing happiness.
Maybe face-to-face couples’ therapy isn’t what you want right now, but you need something to help you to better communicate, stop the feelings of resentment building and start having fun together again. Spark My Relationship is the perfect place to start.
Perhaps you’ve made a commitment to yourself to work on your relationship. Or perhaps you and your partner have made a commitment together.
Congratulations — you should be proud of yourself. Accepting responsibility for your own happiness and well-being is the first step to Happiness-Maximization.
If your partner is joining you on this journey, then great!
If your partner is reluctant to join you — don’t worry. You alone have the intrinsic capability to affect change in the quality of your own life experiences and relationship.
Spark My Relationship offers tips to reshape your relationship intelligently and mindfully and gives you ideas for living more passionately in every aspect of your life together. If you’re not eager to take the step into therapy, or it’s impossible to find the time or help nearby, Spark My Relationship is a low-stress, low-cost option. It doesn’t replace therapy, but it will help you talk with each other positively again and ease relationship strain — if you follow the guidance offered.
Research consistently found that it takes four positive comments to recover from one negative comment made by your partner. That ratio means that criticism is a highly ineffective way of communicating in your relationship with your partner. Criticism attacks your partner’s character and usually makes them feel assaulted, rejected and hurt.
Contempt is the greatest predictor of relationship failure and must be eliminated. Contempt encompasses behaviors and words that lets a person know you don’t like or approve of them. Contempt is an expression of superiority that comes out as sarcasm, cynicism, name-calling, eye rolling, sneering or mockery.
The third factor that leads to a relationship disaster is defensiveness. You can’t listen and be on the same team with your partner when you’re planning your next offense. When we feel unjustly accused, we fish for excuses so our partner will back off. Unfortunately, this strategy is almost never successful. Defensiveness never solves the problem and it’s usually a covert way of blaming your partner.
Instead of confronting an issue with their partner, stonewalling occurs when the listener withdraws from the conversation and closes him/herself off from their partner. Stonewalling usually doesn’t happen immediately in a relationship, as it can take time for the negativity created by the first three horsemen to result in stonewalling. However, once it starts, stonewalling can become a bad habit.
Spark My Relationship is the only relationship course that combines the knowledge of not one, not two, but 15 psychologists and therapists.
We’ve spent the last four years interviewing some of the best psychologists and therapists in the field. This has allowed us to gain in-depth knowledge to help strengthen and improve our own relationship, as well has help hundreds of thousands of couples and individuals along the way.
But we want to help more!
We created Spark My Relationship to help couples, just like us.
Like you, we struggle with communication issues, intimacy issues, forgiveness and stress management.
Whether you’re happy in your relationship and want to ignite the passion, or you’re struggling and need to learn healthy alternative forms of communication, Spark My Relationship will guide you through making your relationship closer, stronger and hotter.
Spark My Relationship has helped us, and we know it will help you, too.
The course consists of 18 therapist taught video lessons with slides, transcripts, audio and video downloadable files, 21 workbooks and cheat sheets, over 25 relationship strengthening exercises and 4 mindfulness exercises.
We’ll start the course with a short video about the four predictors of relationship pain.
Dr. Julie Colwell teaches us how to shift out of toxic relationship patterns such as reactive brain, blame and criticism and instead, show appreciation for our partner
Never underestimate the importance of knowing how to relax, soothe your emotions and manage the inevitable stresses of everyday couple and family life. Dr. Debra Campbell focuses on the importance of developing your mindful awareness to respond wisely in interactions rather than from a reactive, anxious or raw emotional place. It’s a great skill in all of life, but particularly in close relationships.
The brief Mindfulness Primer shows you how to take a mindful break of just 2 minutes as often as you like, anytime, everyday. The results for your health and your relationship will far outweigh the minimal effort and time required to take responsibility for your wellness in this fundamental way.
Dr. Debra Campbell discusses the benefits of mindfulness in relationships. Mindfulness allows us to pause, breathe and respond, rather than reacting negatively to our partner. This process will make your partner feel more loved and create more empathy, compassion and understanding toward your partner.
Let’s put some mindfulness into action with a relaxation practice involving mindful awareness of your body and breathing. Guided meditation by Dr. Debra Campbell .
Forgiveness is an essential life and relationship skill. Dr. Lisa Firestone teaches us how to break free of resentment and give yourself and your relationship the gift of forgiveness.
Dr. Bernard Golden teaches us how to communicate our differences more effectively and without fighting. He focuses on four components that are essential to having effective communication. They include: learning communication skills, developing skills for self-compassion and self-soothing, learning to be realistic in your relationship and recognizing that you need to have that important discussion.
In this lesson, Dr. Daniel Ellenberg introduces a framework for handling challenging conversations. He discusses the mindset that is necessary to have a successful conversation, as well as the set of skills that would be helpful for you to develop. We also look at a way of orienting to these conversations, from contemplating whether or not to have one in the first place to completing a conversation.
Dr. Denise Fournier discusses ineffective communication styles including avoidance, passive-aggression and blame, and why these particular communication styles aren’t effective. She provides examples of effective ways to support cohesion, connectivity and longevity of your romantic relationship through mindful communication.
Winifred Reilly, MFT discusses why compromise isn’t the only or even preferable way to go when you disagree. Winifred teaches us the steps necessary to finding a solution you’re both happy with. This includes being honest about the true meaning of your preferences and examining the narrative you have about winning and losing.
The key to good communication and staying loving and connected in any situation in life is staying mindful. Another way of describing it is responding rather than reacting under pressure, or staying in your wise mind rather than falling into emotional reactivity or intellectualizing. The guided meditation by Dr. Debra Campbell is a lovely extended relaxation practice to enjoy together or individually.
Dr. Debra Campbell shares tips into reigniting the sex in your relationship. She emphasizes that good sex in your relationship comes down to having a great connection in the relationship — and a shared, private and unique erotic world between you and your partner is vital to a great connection.
Dr. Adam Matthews and Laurie Watson, AASECT teach us about the different attachments styles, and how our attachment style established from our childhood can impact our sex life.
Stress is a passion killer – refuse to be stressed out any longer! After setting a positive affirmation, we progressively relax the body. Guided meditation by Dr. Debra Campbell.
This is an exercise in communicating to your partner about how and where you would like to be touched next time you’re in bed.
Looking to infuse your erotic repertoire or change things up in the bedroom? Verbal sex might be just the kind of spice your relationship needs. In this lesson, Marie-Claire Thauvette teaches us how some well-selected words can heat things up in the bedroom, help your partner feel great about himself or herself, and enhance your erotic life together.
Duane and Thea Harvey, MFTs, teach us how to create a mindful, loving relationship by creating a Relationship Vision. During this step-by-step process, they also teach us how to ground the vision to make it a reality. Duane and Thea also share mindful rituals you can do with your partner to keep you close and connected.
Being vulnerable with your partner is critical for feeling close and connected. Dr. Tara Well teaches us how we can feel more connected with our partner by learning to see ourselves and reflect our partner through the process of Mirror Meditation.
In this lesson, Ellen Gendelman discusses how being aware of each other’s love language can be very empowering toward facilitating a healthy bond between partners. Developing this insight can help you to speak your partner’s primary love language so that they feel loved and understood. It will require some thoughtful effort at first but it’s quite simple to master and your awareness of your partner’s language will quickly become a natural, integrated and invaluable asset to your relationship.
Let’s get to know our partner on an even deeper level. Research shows the partners who know each other better and understand each other’s inner world are happier, work together better under pressure and have more lasting relationships.
What’s more special than hearing that you’re loved and appreciated? Almost nothing. That’s why we’re wrapping up the course by writing love letters to our partners.
Dr Debra Campbell is a author, psychologist, university lecturer and couple therapists based in Melbourne Australia. Dr. Debra has consulted on everything from panic to depression, parenting, grief and relationships. She collaborated for four years with maverick minister, Dr Francis Macnab on thought-leadership and program creation around well-being and spirituality. Formerly a yoga teacher, Dr. Deb’s work combines ancient wisdom with contemporary psychology.
Dr. Julie Colwell is a psychologist based in Boulder, CO. She has spent her career developing and refining methods for individuals, couples, families, groups, and organizations to shift out of energy-draining power struggles into reconnection, innovation and flow. Her methods are clear, research-based and powerful. Dr. Colwell also hosts workshops and classes and is the author of the bestseller, The Relationship Skills Workbook and The Relationship Ride.
Dr. Lisa Firestone is an author, international trainer and speaker on: couple relationships, parenting, suicide and violence prevention. Dr. Firestone is also the Director of Research and Education at The Glendon Association and Senior Editor for the mental health website PsychAlive.org. She is the author of numerous articles and chapters and the co-author of several books including Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice and Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships.
Dr. Bernard Golden is the founder of Anger Management Education in Chicago. He has been a practicing psychologist for almost forty years, and is the author of Overcoming Destructive Anger: Strategies That Work, Unlock Your Creative Genius and Healthy Anger: How to help children and teens manage their anger.
Dr. Daniel Ellenberg is a seminar leader, licensed therapist, author, leadership coach and conversation adviser. He is a principal in Rewire Leadership and co-founder of Relationships That Work. Daniel specializes in helping people create more resilient, authentic, caring relationships — including with themselves. He believes that people often learn best when they laugh most.
Dr. Denise Fournier is a mindfulness-based psychotherapist and coach in Miami, FL. Through her practice, Evergreen Therapy, she works with individuals and couples using an approach that blends modern research and Eastern philosophy. In addition to her work with clients, Denise is also an adjunct professor at Nova Southeastern University and a regular contributor to the Psychology Today.
Winifred Reilly is a marriage and family therapist, with a private practice in Berkeley, CA. In her thirty-five years of clinical practice she has treated hundreds of couples — many who were convinced they were headed for divorce. Winifred has been a guest lecturer on marriage and sexuality and wrote the book It Takes One to Tango: How I Rescued My Marriage with (Almost) No Help from My Spouse—and How You Can, Too.
Laurie Watson is an AASECT certified sex therapist, author, speaker, and educator on sexuality, intimacy and relationships. Laurie also co-hosts a podcast, Foreplay — Radio Sex Therapy, with Dr. Adam Matthews where they talk easily and frankly about the challenges of monogamy, and how couples can have an exciting, meaningful sex life in marriage.
Dr. Adam Matthews is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed professional counselor and owner of Mathews Counseling. Dr. Matthews has helped hundreds of couples solve desperate marital problems including sexual difficulties to find happiness again. He also co-hosts the podcast Foreplay — Radio Sex Therapy with Dr. Laurie Watson.
Marie-Claire Thauvette is a successful entrepreneur, professional educator and woman on a mission: to teach individuals and couples alike about the power of intimacy and communication. MC combines her 29 years of teaching experience, her AASECT certification, and her certification from the the prestigious Institute for Sexual Education and Therapists to reignite passion in singles and couples.
Thea & Duane Harvey are marriage and family therapists specializing in Imago Relationship Therapy. They have been married 10 years and have a thriving couples therapy practice in Santa Monica, California. They believe that novelty, pleasure and romance are the keys to creating a lasting joyous connection.
Dr. Tara Well is a professor of psychology at Barnard College of Columbia University in New York City. She has over 20 years of experience in conducting research on what motivates us and influences our perceptions as well as extensive training in meditation, yoga, and other mind-body healing modalities.
Ellen Gendelman is a psychotherapist and professional coach who specializes in working with relationships. She cherishes her own roles as wife, mother and grandmother. A veteran educator and motivational speaker, she has a passion for helping people grow and maximize their potential. Ellen is also the author of When Ice Cream Is Not Enough.
David Richo, Ph.D., M.F.T., is a psychotherapist, teacher, workshop leader and writer who works in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California. He combines Jungian, poetic and mythic perspectives in his work with the intention of integrating the psychological and the spiritual. His books and workshops include attention to Buddhist practices.
Melissa Schreiber, M.S., LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Georgia and North Carolina. She has over 20 years of clinical and management experience in the behavioral health field, providing psychotherapy to families, couples, children and adolescents. Melissa has expertise in the areas of depression, anxiety, grief and relationship issues
The private Spark My Relationship Facebook group was created to help support you along your journey of completing the course. The Facebook group will be full of other like minded individuals who are committed to making their relationship {even} better.
Dr. David Richo explains that most relationship problems are essentially trust issues. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust—both in ourselves and in our partner.
If your bedroom is the scene of most of your couple intimacy, as it is for many, then it’s very important to keep it or make it a beautiful, refreshing and a fun place to retreat to every evening. Make your bedroom inspire pleasure.
In this exclusive bonus, David Richo, Ph.D., M.F.T., explains that most relationship problems are essentially trust issues. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust—both in ourselves and in our partner.
Richo offers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships including:
Depending on the complexity of your case and how well you and your spouse get along, the average cost for a lawyer-driven divorce can range from $15,000 to $32,000. Divorce lawyers charge for time, which means that the client will receive a bill for every communication the lawyer undertakes on the client’s behalf. That includes, but is not limited to: every phone call, email, letter drafted, meeting, court appearance, etc.
We are huge advocates of couples therapy, however, the cost of therapy may be too expensive for some. The average cost per session can range from $75-$150. Depending on the couples specific situation and challenges the recommended average number of sessions are 8-12.
You can’t put a price tag on happiness. When you put your relationship on the backburner, feelings of resentment, frustration or anger towards your partner can build much easier. And we know those feeling don’t make for a happy relationship. Even if you’re in a great place in your relationship, having the tools to navigate potential struggles is priceless.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
We’ve done everything in our power to make Spark My Relationship the simplest, most effective relationship strengthening program available.
We KNOW it works because it’s the exact same tools and exercises we use on a daily basis in our relationship. They are also the exact strategies marriage therapists teach their clients.
However, if you’re on the fence…or if other relationship courses have left you skeptical, then we want to give you every chance possible to “buy it and try it” with absolute confidence.
That’s why we’re giving you a FULL 30 DAYS to go through the first month of the course, complete the videos and exercises, and realize for yourself just how amazing it feels to make the commitment to foster your relationship.
And you definitely don’t need to wait for that “magical someday” when your time frees up, the stars align, and somehow you and your partners’ responsibilities and worries slip away. (Hint: it doesn’t exist).
If you truly want to create a closer, stronger and hotter relationship and to live a happier, more satisfied life with your partner, then the ONLY permission you need is the permission you give yourself.
Yes! I’m ready to give myself permission, knowing I’m protected by a full,
30 day money-back guarantee.*